|
i was buying slurpees for rina and myself when this song played at 7-11...
kung kaya kong iwasan ka,
di na sana aasa pa
kung kaya kong iwanan ka,
di na sana lalapit pa
kung kaya ko sana...
the bright lights and colorful displays of the store did not stop my mind (and my heart --- hahaha!) from churning memories of her. Her, who has recently been slipping back into the deepest recesses of my thoughts. well, she had resided there for a while, ever since it dawned on me that i do love her until the time decided to forget everything that has to do with her. no, i was not angry during that time. i was just convinced that nothing will ever come out of something that we didn't share. same old typical sawi love story: i love her, and she loves another. worse, that another loves her too.
kung kaya kong iwasan ka... apparently not. our lives are intertwined in a way that our paths will surely meet. but then, im not complaining. someday, i wish to have a meaningful friendship with her...maybe after i undergo the process of completely healing and letting go.
right now, i am confused if i am confused. i know that i HAVE to stop setting my "issue" aside and that i should start allowing myself to feel because it is only through that that i will be able to start "moving on". as i have been told by my soulmate many times, "makaka move on ka lang ng tuluyan sa isang tao kapag narealize mo sa sarili mo na may minamahal ka na ulit". so, the search is on! (haha joke lang!)
i would like to take this blog space to give thanks to a person who gave me a chance to see life in a different perspective. if you are reading this, thank you for each and every appreciation and encouragement that you gave me. thank you too for the all the tears, deep sighs, sleepless nights, and heart-breaking moments; incidents that i am sure you never meant to happen.
i shall begin to un-love her...to the level where i will be sure that only pure, platonic affection exists in my heart. i just hope that she will never get to notice. after all, what she doesn't (and will never) know won't hurt her.
|