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this maybe a little too late. for the past decade or so, my concept of "new year and the year that was" has always been the start of school in june. but, as i am in the process of "unlearning" my student ways in anticipation of graduation, i do this now. (pero naman, still on the first day of school in january. how's that?)
2005 is the year i turned 21, the official year of adulthood. this is the year that i had to face many responsibilities especially in family matters. looks like my parents finally realized that their only daughter is old enough to be entrusted with things other than driving people around. and the brothers have finally learned that the sister is an authority figure. haha :)
this is also the continuation of academic hurdles, with the year starting with that unforgettable OpMan paper that made the apartment a flurry of papers (literally and figuratively), group meetings, and radiation exposure from 3 (or more) computers turned on all at the same time. funny how the year ended with a similar situation, although the flurry of papers have greatly decreased...this time for CTK (the comtech thesis).
it also marks the year of developing and strengthening friendships. sadly it also carries the end of some. it's also the year of long-awaited and surprising births, of break-ups and hook-ups, of MU's (malabong usapan) and ano-ba-talaga-tayo? couples.
ive met many people...some of them are secretly hated but i find ok. others are secretly admired for reasons i cannot understand. oh yeah...it's also the year of secrets.
and of course, 2005 is the peak of the two-year one way love affair that finally reached its culmination on the last week of december. hay. my soulmate will be able to attest to my crazy, suicidal, almost-desperate days of confusion and rage...all in the name of (eherm) being in love. linshak na love yan...to think that i went through many things that i can't even share with my other friends simply because im still too ashamed and afraid to do so.
yeah, 2005 was tough. and i did get many wounds and scars (naks naman may metaphor!). but i'd like to think of them as proofs that i was true to myself and to others, that i allowed myself to feel, to be happy and to get hurt, to love and be loved in return. sure there were many hurts, too much of it at one point or another, but there always was a reason to smile and be happy. when i think about all of those things now, i remember the happy times more than anything. some things take time to completely heal. but someday, i will feel the pain no more. ang sugat, matapos gamutin, hinahayaan nang gumaling at matuyo mag isa. :) growth is definitely one thing that happened to me this year. i can finally talk and write and think about the before, during, and after letting go. :) and that is a major thing for me.
to the battle scars, heart-melting moments, bonding time, eating times, escapades, tears, laughter, trippings (mayaman ako dito), all-nighters, road trips, conversations whie driving, sweet moments, reflections, YM conversations, lies, deceit, relationships formed and finished, letting go, being free, being in love and falling out, good grades, better grades, and forget-me grades, and to all big, great, simple, and little things of the past year, KUDOS! welcome 2006. welcome the fire dog. :D
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