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well, this is it.
i will be officially starting a new way of life, most commonly known as employment on the first day of august. i deliberately postponed (or more of, avoided) the topic of nailing a job in this blog simply because i wanted to. its just that this new phase seems so big, so vague that even if i believe that i have prepared myself for it after graduation...i realized that i can never really ideally prepare for it. (sidenote: ang labo ko ba?) it seems like a major transition, a whole paradigm shift when in fact its merely following the course that has been set long ago.
it just gives me this thought that i am consciously taking steps in mapping my life now, something that probably begins a whole new different concept to the word responsibility. you see, all i remember is that i was a happy, playful child who eventually got "bored" with spending all day in a house full of adults, prompting my mom to send me, only a little over two years old to nursery school. since then, life has become a cycle of going to school for 10 months...enjoying 2 months of playtime in the summer...getting new books and school supplies in may...riding a school bus...doing assignments, papers, projects...and eventually living in an apartment in front of the university. there were tons of development of course. i discovered extra-curricular activities, school plays, all-night papers, investigatory projects, and learned how to live semi-independently for the most part of the week. but still, everything revolved on a single, constant thing: SCHOOL. and all i had to do was to make sure that i will be promoted to the next level for the next school year.
though ive been told time and again that school will prepare me for the time that i will step into the real world, i cant help but wonder...when will the time come when i will say "nothing in school prepared me for this"?
i guess these feelings and thoughts come from the human nature of fearing the unknown. yet when i think about it, this fear quickly turns to excitement, to dreams, to a vision of what i want my future to be. and while i do have my uncertainty and the knowledge that my superiors do expect a lot from me, i have this tiny flame of determination in my heart that tells me that i will perform to the best of my ability. i can do it!
i will be starting to work...to learn a whole lot of new things, meet different kinds of people, go various places...and i will not be entering this dimension without the uneasiness similar to a bride on the night before her wedding. when i was in the midst of thesis, i oftentimes told my groupmates that "nothing in highschool prepared me for this". how wrong was i. for sure, if absolutely nothing prepared me for it, i don't think i would've have survived. and so i will keep this thought in my heart when i enter those glass doors next tuesday:
this is where my 18 years of school brought me today. surely, somewhere in that rich pot of experiences and education, there is something there that prepared me for this. :)
im already looking forward to it. wish me luck!
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